2007, once and for all.

this is how far i've come.

friends
just when you think you've got it down, the whole friends thing... something or another smacks you right in the face. in the FACE. and you realize... being friends with someone takes real effort and sacrifice. i used to think that if two people naturally went together, it would just flow, things would just come together all on its own. perhaps, that's an ideal relationship. you let things slide and tolerate things you usually don't. but when you have to lower your standards for someone, it's not worth it. sure there are going to things that can be fit for comfort. but when those things you let slide pile up, you start to doubt. doubt if it's really 'friendship'. or if it's just a good meshing together of personality and circumstances with above average small talk. don't get me wrong, i haven't lost my faith in some really good friends. i've just learned the real meaning of what it is to be friends.

gossip
gossip has been my vice since... who knows when. and really, i never had a huge problem with it, it just kind of followed me around like an annoying nagging child. it's quite a sore subject with me. and i frankly am telling myself to release myself of this poison. i feel like it drags me down and i never feel like a good person, spreading gossip. so there it is. so i guess this directly

forgiveness
so i realize this is a big issue for me. certain things transpired in my life to make me become this person.. who doesn't want to be a pushover. at all. and will do anything in their power to make sure it doesn't happen. well news flash to self: it doesn't work. you become paranoid of everyone's intentions. you can't even trust people anymore.

responsibility
yeah, i might be a really hard person to motivate, especially about things that i don't to do. but the jobs i have had this year have taught me some serious lessons. just about business and people in general. i used to think business was all about finding a way to present the truth in a acceptable manner to throw off all doubts about the credibility of it all. basically i think it's lying. or maybe it's damage control. but this year has been about how i've had to do things that i haven't wanted to do. and it's taught me a lot. but i'll save the cliche for never.

love
this is something i wish i figured out. but i haven't this year. so i don't have much to say about it. only that i think i'm a commitment phobe. just like another other GUY.

faith
it is so much bigger than me. i keep telling myself that i'm okay without God, that i'm just fine and content. but being content isn't enough. and i really need God. i figure that these things that happen are to teach me the real necessity of a higher being. i will find that purpose and meaning. i have hope, and that's enough to last me.

don't hate; oh eight.