well, you know how i was talking about those 'real' feelings, or 'feeling alive'. i think those feelings have morphed into something different. and because i was used to those feelings of exhilaration, i was waiting for those same feelings to come back from something that it just wasn't meant for. meaning, the 'feeling alive' i feel now isn't the same as before. but it's still that same experience.
i'm sorry if you don't understand; i wrote this for my own sanity.
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