given up?

so i've given up. right now on two things. first - studying for the huge religion exam tomorrow. yuckk. i am completely appalled at my lack of work ethic. i hate how i keep thinking everything will work out. but it won't sometimes. sighalskdjf

i'm also stressed out about work tomorrow. it's my first shift by myself. i don't think i'm very good at raising money..

i had the most awful stomach virus/food poisoning last night. i thought my intestines were sure to shoot out of my mouth. i'm pretty sure no one wants to hear the gruesome details, but i surely have the best roommate God can provide me with. so in mid upchuck, i decided i'm truly sorry for the bulemic people out there.. and that throwing up is one of the ugliest lowliest things a human is capable of. what is inside your body is there for a reason. it does not need to be down the sink. however, after 10 hours of horrific muscle aches and lost stomach fluids, i am pretty much back to normal. thank goodness, too. i couldn't even sit up without a lot of effort. it really made me not want to grow old, ever.

so lying in bed, sick as a dog certainly gives you time to think. long and hard. well, the time you're not sleeping, of course. i've decided that God gave the world sickness to show us that good health is really something to be freaking thankful for. i used to think that i would never lose the will to live, no matter the circumstances or excruciating pain. but in fact, even after my little 10 hour excapade of sickness, i wanted to give up and never feel that way again. amazing how you let go of your morals in time of weakness.

maybe i'll write about the second thing i've given up on later. i'm completely wiped out.